Rock the Vote Event (2/20/00)

I just got the most solid behind-the-scenes look at Hollywood I've ever had...and it's nauseating! I was at the House of Blues for the Rock the Vote event, which gave awards to Neil Young and Wyclef Jean for their political involvement. I volunteered for the PR company in charge of the event, helping give out laminates (passes) to the people who deserve them. I've done stuff like this with the Rolling Stones and R&R Hall of Fame, but this gig took the cake. Imagine lots of Heidi Fleiss types running around with cell phones and lots of tabloid TV host types running around with cell phones, all frantically saying, "Oh my god - what do you MEAN you didn't put me on the list"... or a frantic, "Oh my god - when Madonna arrives we HAVE to do xyz". Everyone is high strung, phony, and concerned about insanely trivial nonsense. I WISH you all could have seen this for the laughs. It was surreal...right out of a movie.

I went up to the press area. 50 photographers and 30 video cameras waited at the red carpet for celebrities. As a limo arrived, someone took a look to see who was getting out of the car. That person shouted, "It's Tony Bennett!" And then every idiot with a camera said, "Oh my god - it's Tony Bennett - get ready". Tony approached, just trying to find the entrance to the club, and flashes were shooting off in his face every half second. Then all the TV shows jumped in his face with cameras and mikes. "Tony - Entertainment Tonight - so wonderful to see you - you look fantastic - so what brings you to this star-studded, incredible event?" One pathetic question after another. It took "nauseating" to a new level. I was laughing in their faces. Access Hollywood and every possible syndicated phony news program had a presence there. Chris Connely had the MTV stage set up and he got quality time to ask tons of questions thanks to MTV sponsoring the event. The second an interview was coming to an end, another interviewer would grab the artist and start with questions. The artists just wanted to get inside. Beck and Perry Farrell came in and said no way would they walk down the red carpet. Same with Emmylou Harris. Smart move! However many artists did subject themselves to the nonsense: Sheryl Crow, Bonnie Raitt, Meredith Brooks (who is actually hot), some dork from the show Jesse, some other dork from some random soap opera, and Snoop Dogg - now THAT was funny. Everyone at the event was all dressed up...yet there's Snoop, surrounded by a HUGE posse, wearing a hockey jersey and jeans.

It was really entertaining to watch the press. They are seriously desperate vultures. The print photographers needed to get the attention of each celeb, so they would yell out names and shoot flashes in the celebs' faces. "Sheryl - this way", "Sheryl - over here", "Sheryl - you look great", "Hey Sheryl"...and the artist would be stuck standing there like a retard with a fake smile as a billion flashes shot off in her face. Sure, famous musicians make good money, but this was crazy...Eventually I went back to the laminate area, and one of those idiotic old ladies who does gossip crap on the E channel was trying to schmooze her way into the club even though she wasn't on the list. "I never put my name on the list because everyone always recognizes me and just lets me in." She was allowed in, but wouldn't have been if I was in charge. Everyone was so phony and pretentious. I was juxtaposing this experience in my mind with a Dead or Phish show and laughing. It was fascinating to watch. Every Random Notes person was there from Rolling Stone, and I'm sure you'll be seeing this coverage in RS and on MTV.

Inside, Stevie Wonder gave a speech and presented Wyclef with his award. Beck gave a horrible, unprepared speech about Neil Young, rambling on about nothing. Neil came out and said, "Beck, thanks for the WONDERFUL speech." It was hilarious. Everyone was cracking up, including Neil. Beck appeared embarassed. Neil and Pegi spoke about Farm Aid and the Bridge School. It was really cool. Then Wyclef and his posse performed. I watched with an open mind....but concluded it was lowest common denominator cruise ship entertainment for a Carnival cruise at best. More like Spring Break MTV, "throw your hands in the air" and bounce around to the beat by a drummer who can't play. So sad that this is the type of stuff taking over the music biz. I was cringing as everyone seriously threw their hands in the air and got into this! I stuffed my face with free food and ran out of there as quickly as I could, right after George Clinton joined the group for "We've Got the Funk". People were still hoping for appearances by Madonna, Smashing Pumpkins and Bono but I'd had enough crabcakes and didn't want to throw my hands in the air any longer. It was time to bail.

Oh - one more highlight of the night was watching Hillary Clinton accept an award from Wyclef via video. She gave a real STIFF thank you speech and didn't know how to say Wyclef's name. It was a hilarious Spinal Tap-like moment. This whole night was an inside look at the publicity machine. I really wish you were all there to share the laughs b/c I felt like I was the only one laughing.