Airplane Crash (6/6/03)

I had been working the phones today to network my way into a job. I am on to something new and exciting, but I've had 2 brutal years with the loss of my mom and all....and not hearing anyone say "you're hired" was getting to me today. I literally spoke to my wall (that's who I talk to when I'm home all day getting frustrated about the job hunt) and said "just kill me now". I was just too frustrated. Well, I learned you have to be careful what you say to your wall!

It was almost 4 and I was supposed to be at a friend's place at 5:30 to watch Game 2 of the NBA Finals. I decided if I'm gonna get exercise I'd better run to the gym now. I got dressed for the gym and decided to send an email before I left. While typing, I heard a plane coming towards my apartment. It kept getting closer and closer. I always get a little scared when this happens, but this time I got REALLY scared. I was sure it was gonna hit me. It sounded too close. I stopped typing and started to stand up, hesitating only b/c I was thinking I was being a neurotic spaz. I heard it get closer and yelled HOLY SHIT! I was sure I was fucked. I ran to the other end of my apartment, away from the window, to get my shoes and get out of the building. I threw on my shoes and suddenly my windows blew around like crazy and the blinds came flying towards me. I ran outside. A plane crashed into an apartment building just 4 houses down from mine! Huge ball of fire and huge clouds of black smoke. Tons of people poured out into the streets as my heart raced much faster than if I had actually gotten to work out at the gym. It was surreal...and a blur. Everyone had cell phones, lots of home video cameras...and within minutes cops, firemen, about 20 helicopters, and all the press. I turned down tons of interviews by every network. I hadn't even showered and looked like a big dork in my Farm Aid t-shirt and other ratty gym clothes. I did speak to the AP, (only b/c they had no cameras) so I might be on AM radio or in the newspapers if they didn't get a more interesting story (and if they couldn't find that, then they should find new jobs). My cell phone died within 30 minutes, so I couldn't even call people. I instead met random freaks from the neighborhood. And WOW, there's some winners. Melrose Larry Green, of Howard Stern fame, popped out of nowhere and began thinking he was a police officer, telling us to step away from the corner. (This was after the police evacuated the area and made us all move 2 blocks away). Melrose Larry gave me his business card after I explained that we had everything under control. I can't imagine what BUSINESS he is in other than appearing to be a mental patient, but he did happen to tell me that he's writing a book about how Chelsea Clinton is really the daugther of Hillary Clinton and Webster Hubble. He said he has DNA evidence to prove it and I have to promise to read his book. I said I'd be happy to, Larry. And I look forward to hearing you discuss it with Howard Stern. Scary. The black smoke had turned white and eventually faded away...bodies were carted off...the news was scrambling for what was left of the scoop. It was entertaining to watch some of these newscasters ask everyone frantically "did you see anything? did you see anything" and then call their bosses to say "we can't find anyone who saw anything!" Some ultra slick 40-something news guy in a fancy suit who I was sure was a rich personal injury lawyer came up to us and shook our hands. In his best Batman voice he said, "I'm Bruce Babcock, did any of you see anything?" He was like a parody of himself. After 4 hours, the sun was gone and it was too cold for me to be standing out there making small talk with anyone. But they still would not let anyone within 2 blocks of the area. They were investigating whether this was terrorism b/c I live in a very Jewish neighborhood, it's a Friday night and the apartment building is across from a small temple. Anyway, my next door neighbor was standing next to me and had his I.D. on him (I had nothing but a dead cell phone and a Farm Aid t-shirt). I said walk with me over to those cops, with your I.D. open and facing them - we're getting home. "Officer," I said as my neighbor flashed his I.D., "we live at that building right up the block there. We really need to get home." "Sorry, only if you have family members there or it's an emergency." I said "Officer, it's freezing out here and all I have is this Farm Aid t-shirt." They said "sorry, you can go to Fairfax high School - there is shelter there for everyone." I said "Officer, this really is an emergency." "How so, sir?" "We're missing the 4th quarter of game 2 of the NBA Finals." (I had to try something). "Sir, follow me and I'll escort you home." I walked in just in time for the final 90 seconds of the game, which were GREAT. I'm not going to try to leave my place now b/c I doubt I'll be allowed back until the investigation is done...and don't want to sleep in my car. I still have tons of helicopters flying over my place...and each time they get close to my window, my reflex is to jump up and run. Time for a beer (or 2) and whatever food is lying around in the fridge. Remember to be careful what you say to your walls.

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