Attempts to Publish "Snowflake" (11/24/03)

My conversation with the Washington Post:

WP: Hello, Washington Post.

Me: Hi, my name is Luber and I'm wondering who I would send a story to about the world famous albino gorilla who just died yesterday.

WP: I see. What zoo are you calling from?

Me: Well he died at the Barcelona zoo.

WP: So you're calling from Barcelona?

Me: No, I'm calling from Chicago.

WP: Is Barcelona the name of your zoo in Chicago, sir?

Me: No, the Barcelona zoo is in Spain. The zoo has already reported the story - it's in papers all over the world. I'm now looking to see where I can submit my funny story about my adventures with the gorilla.

WP: Oh, I see. Let me think for you....Well it sounds like he's a celebrity. Is he a celebrity?

Me: Um, well....yes. Yes, he's a celebrity.

WP: Well then I'm sending you to the Style section. Please hold.

ring....ring....

Very Effeminate Man in Style: Hello, Style!

Me: Um yes, I'm calling about the world famous albino gorilla who just died.

Very Affected Man in Style: Hmmmmmm..........

Needless to say, "Snowflake" did not find a home beyond The Luber Blog.