Chicago's Lollapalooza 2005 (7/26/05)

I knew I was in for a good weekend when I got in the car to drive into Chicago from the suburbs and the Grateful Dead's "St. Stephen" came on the radio. Given that this song is never on the radio, I figured a unique experience was right around the corner. I picked up my friend Bill and we took the L to the Michigan Avenue area. We arrived at Chicago's Buckingham Fountain and were greeted by a young volunteer. "Welcome to Lollapalooza 2005," he said. After hosting Radiohead for an outdoor, concert-in-the-park test run on 8/1/01 (see "Chicago + Radiohead Do Good"), this weekend the city of Chicago finally followed up with the first big event at Hutchinson Field, the city's new lakeside park: Lollapalooza 2005.

Hosted by Lollapalooza founder Perry Farrell of Jane's Addiction, the event was a definite success. Approximately 65,000 people attended the 2-day concert. Modeled after Southern California's Coachella and Austin's Austin City Limits Festival, this 2-day event presented 60 international touring bands and over 10 local restaurants. Performers ranged from Liz Phair and The Killers to the Pixies and Widespread Panic. Light on hip-hop and electronica, this festival featured mostly alt rock and jam-oriented music. Weezer, Arcade Fire, G-Love, Drive-By Truckers, Spoon, Ben Kweller, Digable Planets, Death Cab For Cutie and Primus all performed to enthusiastic crowds despite the high humidity and 100 plus degree weather. Sandwiched between Buckingham Fountain and Chicago's museums, the lakeside event featured 4 stages in opposite corners of the park. Each hour, bands would perform on the 2 stages diagonal from each other, surrounded by Chicago's beautiful skyline. Just outside this field was the food area, where Chicago's restaurants had booths serving BBQ ribs, pizza, cheeseburgers, ice cream and even some healthy items for the California types.

As we walked around, Bill and I passed a man around 50 years old dressed in full millitary garb (hat, boots and all) with a Hitler-like moustache that could possibly have been glued on above his lip. The moustache curlie-q'd out into a few twists like that of a character in one of those movies based on a comic book. He held the American flag in one hand while the other appeared poised to draw a weapon out of his pocket. Written in thick, black permanent marker on his back was "Psalms 16:30" or some number like that. With eyes that appeared to be possessed or simply under the influence of a special treat from a Widespread Panic fan, he was casually pacing around the food area. When we passed him, we noticed that he wore a name tag that stated "My Name is Popeye". Bill and I looked at each other and simultaneously said, "Did you just see that?" We weren't sure whether Popeye was a Vietnam veteran or had just gotten off tour with The Village People. There was no way we could walk past him without learning exactly what he was doing at Lollapalooza. I had to ask. I figured he was going to try to sell me Jesus, war, peace, America or some combination of the 4. Either way, I was prepared for an interesting answer....however, not quite as interesting as the answer I got. We approached Popeye. "Hi, Popeye. What's going on? You're all suited up today". With a very serious look on his face, he gazed deep into my eyes. I prepared myself for today's bible lesson. "Paintball is very dangerous," Popeye stated. It took me a second to absorb these words of wisdom. They weren't QUITE what I was expecting. I was recently invited to a bachelor party where everyone played paintball, but I couldn't attend that day so I didn't really learn how dangerous paintball truly is. I hear it can leave welts, but I didn't realize the serious danger. I wanted to hear more. "Yes, Popeye, very true," I said. He continued, "Kids today are NOT being taught how to use these military weapons. They're just SENT out there and they start shooting. They don't even give these kids cups to protect themselves! It's VERY dangerous." Shocked that I was actually having this conversation with a man named Popeye in military garb holding a U.S. flag while Spoon was blasting in the background, I had to hide my uncontrollable laughter behind a fake asthmatic cough. "Interesting point, Popeye." Agitated, not by me but by the topic of paintball, Popeye angrily stated, "We need LAWS. We need LAWS to protect the children from paintball." He then walked away. Stunned, I too walked away....and quickly forgot about the bizarre paintball incident as I purchased a great pulled pork sandwich from one of the local Chicago restaurant vendors.

Popeye wasn't the only character who made me realize that Pfizer and Merck can be good for America. When introducing the Pixies, rock star Perry Farrell gave a great, heartfelt speech about how we can all do our bit to save the world from global warming. Given that it was 100 degrees with humidity to match, it made sense to hear his speech. He said multiple times that if we all use our cell phones to text message the special number, we can send a message to Washington that we need to change our policies. We all pulled out our cell phones, ready to be told the special number. He then said, "And now - here they are - the Pixies!!" Out came the Pixies...and they launched into one of their classics. However, Perry never gave us the special number! What a crackhead! I was psyched as hell to see the Pixies but couldn't stop laughing at the fact that I was holding my cell phone, ready to text message some imaginary, magical number! Ah, the beauty of lost brain cells....Perry Farrell played right into the hands of South Park, The Simpsons and Bill O'Reilly. It was truly hilarious.

Anyway, Chicago and concert organizers Capital Sports & Entertainment of Austin did a great job with this event. The lineup overall was just OK, but it was real good considering that they pulled it all together at the last minute. Given that the event was a success and raised over $400,000 for Chicago's Park District and brought in $8 million in tourism, I'm guessing they'll do it again. With more advanced notice, they can hopefully pull in headliners like that of Coachella and Austin City Limits. The bands I caught did a good job. Even Billy Idol was fun. He brought the MTV Spring Break vibe out of the crowd as everyone jumped around to his hits while asking the people next to them, "isn't he like 50 or something?" The Killers did a solid job as the new Duran Duran; Cake and Primus brought their quirky versions of jam-oriented tunes to the Windy City, with Les Claypool surrounded by two gigantic rubber duckies; Perry Farrell's new band was a less convincing Jane's Addiction-lite; Liz Phair was somewhat entertaining with her increasingly schlocky rock songs; Drive-By Truckers busted out straightforward southern rock with a Jay Farrar vibe; Weezer turned the entire park into a frat party as every idiot there (including me) belted out the lyrics to The Sweater Song; Arcade Fire drew a huge crowd and totally won everyone over by the end of their set as the crowd was clapping along to the band's unique tunes with their hands raised above their heads; the Pixies rocked as always and Widespread Panic brought the jamband vibe to the event with their southern brand of hippie rock. Despite the fact that Widespread Panic isn't a headliner like Radiohead, Jane's Addiction or Nine Inch Nails, they definitely were able to attract the cute hippie chicks to the festival on Day 2 when they performed. It was a big difference from Day 1, which featured more 200 pound girls than I ever care to see in one place again. I don't think I had seen a crowd like that since I was a kid wearing an I'm With Stupid t-shirt waiting in line for cotton candy at Six Flags' Great America. The sweltering heat brought back memories of Coachella 2004 and flashbacks to every Gatorade commercial I'd ever seen on TV. I always wanted to be like Mike, but never this bad. Despite sweating like a pig, eating like John Belushi and learning lessons about paintball, I walked away with nothing but good memories of Chicago's Lollapalooza 2005. Here's to 2006......